For the $H£RLOCK fandom, featuring Ricky C and Ali G (aka Martin Freeman beatboxing chav <3).
I kind of stole this from TheRealMartinFreeman. Please don’t hurt me?
Lyrics (Bold Lyrics by TheRealMartinFreeman, Unbolded by Bitchtastica)
WAKE UP IN THE MORNING FEELING LIKE MARTIN FREEMAN PUT ON A FUCKING SCARF I’M GONNA ROLL IN NEW ZEALAND BEFORE I LEAVE GRAB MY SHADES SO I LOOK FUCKING HIP ‘CAUSE WHEN I LEAVE I’M THE HOBBIT - YOU CAN SUCK IT MATT SMITH
I’M TALKING FEELING LIKE BILBO (BO) RASPBERRY JAM’S MY HOE (HOE) SHH BENEDICT DOESN’T KNOW (KNOW) SOME PEOPLE CALL ME A KITTEN YOU COULD SAY THEY’RE SMITTEN BUT IT’S BENEDICT I’M HITTIN’
DON’T STOP, I’M ON TOP WAIT LET’S USE THE RIDING CROP TONIGHT, IT’S JUST RIGHT SO MANY FANGIRLS TO EXCITE TICK TOCK, SUCK MY COCK THIS WET DREAM WON’T EVER STOP, NO WOAH-OH WOAH-OH WOAH-OH WOAH-OH
ON SHERLOCK SETS, I SHUFFLE, JOG, SKIP, RUN AND FLOUNCE I MAY BE POCKET SIZED BUT I’M HUGE WHERE IT COUNTS IT MAY BE THAT GODTISS WROTE WATSON TO LOOK LIKE A BLEEP OR AM I BETTER THAN ADAM AT HAVING MOVES LIKE MICK JAGGER
I’M TALKING ABOUT HITTIN’ UP LOUISE BREALEY TROLLIN’ TWITTER AND TUMBLR WEEKLY ‘CAUSE I’M MARTIN FREEMAN. BITCH, PLEASE.
AND WE’LL GO TILL THEY CALL ME OUT, OUT OR TUMBLR WANTS TO SHUT DOWN DOWN TUMBLR SHUT IT DOWN, DOWN TUMBLR SHUT DOWN
BEN, YOU LIFT ME UP YOU SET ME DOWN DAMN MY LEG, DON’T MAKE ME BEG I’M ON A SHELF SOME ONE PLEASE HELP DAMN MY LEG, DON’T MAKE ME BEG
BEN, YOU LIFT ME UP YOU SET ME DOWN DAMN MY LEG, DON’T MAKE ME BEG I’M ON A SHELF SOME ONE PLEASE HELP SOME ONE PLEASE HELP SOME ONE PLEASE
Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you, the 2012 Republican Presidential Candidates:
Michelle Bachmann:"Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.” (2004)
Ron Paul:"The rate of AIDS infection is on the increase again. From the gay point of view, the reasons seem quite sensible. First, these men don't really see a reason to live past their fifties. They are not married, they have no children, and their lives are centered on new sexual partners... because sex is the center of their lives, they want it to be as pleasurable as possible, which means unprotected sex. Third, they enjoy the attention & pity that comes with being sick." (1995 in a newsletter)
Rick Perry:"I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. " (2011 in a campaign ad)
Mitt Romney:"I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed." (2011 while speaking to unemployed people in Florida. Romney's net worth is over $200 million.)
Newt Gingrich:"She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer." (1994, about his first wife)
Rick Santorum:"Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?" (2008)
Michelle Bachmann:"Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." (2009 during a debate)
Mitt Romney:"PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." (2006, when questioned about driving 12 hours with his dog in a cage strapped to the top of his car)