Woody Harrelson:I was on my bus, and on my bus I have a yoga swing. Jennifer comes on, and she goes, 'Hi, Woody, I'm J—is that a sex swing?' Her first sentence to me.
Josh Hutcherson:When I got cast, she called me up for one of those five-minute 'Excited to work with you, blah, blah, blah' things. The conversation started with her saying, 'Think about a catheter going in – ouch!' and then turns into a 45-minute rant about zombies and the apocalypse.
Zoë Kravitz:I'd met her a few times, and she was like, 'You should come over and we'll hang out.' So I go over to her apartment, and she opens the door in a towel. She's like, 'Come in, sorry, you're early, I was about to shower.' And she drops her towel and gets in the shower, and starts shaving her legs, totally naked. She was like, 'Are we here yet? Is this OK?' And I was like, 'I guess we're there!'
Grading CPR assignments. This paper is terrible. This is the comment I wish I could leave:
Please look over your work and examine your word choice; technical jargon is fine, but when you sprinkle words like “partaken” and “hereby” in the paper while in the same sentence saying “subconsciously act out unknowingly”, you can tell that you a. didn’t proofread your paper or b. have a poor grasp of the english language.
“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fucking phone call.”—Greg Behrendt (via writeyourheart-out)